Classroom Response -- Jami Lynn

This is a poem that I did not write. Occasionally, I will be critiquing somebody else's work and this is what I am doing now.

Bored with life
I've lost myself
Living in lies
to hide myself
Constantly high
to numb myself
Crying at night
heading straight to hell

Trying to find
my old self
Continuing to fight
my new self
Wanting to like
myself
Still constantly high
heading straight to hell.

Hating this life
I chose for myself
Empty inside
as I chose myself
A different high
that kills myself
A fucked up life
living in hell!

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What I liked:
The poem seems honest and straightforward. I like the openness that the writer has with some deeply personal issues. I think a lot of art should be emotionally charged and deeply personal; I see both poetry and prose as art and therefore I feel they need emotion.

What needs improvement:
I understand what the writer was going for with the repetition of ''myself'' in trying to pull the poem back to an internal issue, but it got old having ''myself'' rhyme with ''myself'' over and over again. I think the technique could be powerful if used sparingly. A possibility would be to only do it in one stanza, or to open and close with the method. I will say this: I enjoyed it in the first stanza, but by the end, it was worn out.