Monday, February 28, 2011

Poll Closed, time for a new one

Well, looks like The poll has Pirate Ship tied with Caravel, so, I am going to post a work up here about both of those. Since we are apparently on prose now, I will blast out some hot Pirate ship Prose. Check this shit out:

Sammy's Story
By: David Mathis

Sammy always knew that greatness was in store for her someday and she believed this so fervently that she would sit at her window for hours, staring out across the grassy fields of her backyard, waiting for something fantastic to happen. Though she searched long, she never found anything of particular note and she was often disappointed by this. A few years flipped their pages by and she was a young girl, pretty and sun-browned from her hours spent outside. It was as she was sitting in the tallest tree she could climb that she saw what she had been waiting for.

Out over the treetops, she could see the sea, beautiful shimmering scales flashing like dazzling day stars, the deep blue-green of the waves crashing up on a rocky beach. There was a pier that was both long and old and there was also a small, stunted lighthouse that shined its light dimly, a beacon in failing health sitting not very far from the pier. Today, though, Sammy saw not an empty and forsaken pier, but a lively festival of odd people, slowly leaving a tall ship. The ship was hard to see through the trees, but the great billowing sails were all black with a stark white skull and crossbones proudly displayed across the front and back of each.

A grin broke out across Sammy’s face as her feet broke into a run even before she hit the ground and then she was sprinting like a mare across a grassy meadow, hair billowing out behind her like a cape and sun reflecting off of the dark brown coils, playing patches of light across them like fish in a river. She passed through the relatively sparse trees and came up on the old pier, alive with the business of feet, the smell of animals, and chatter of excited talk. There were people walking in all directions, chaotic and with seemingly no order, save for one lone man.

The captain stood stoic and unflinching in the midst of pure chaos, a great black raven resting on his shoulder. His scarred and grizzled face bore testimony of many fights and his tattered, black clothes looked to have once belonged to an admiral. A cloth as blood red as crimson hung from around his neck and billowed out behind him as he crossed his thick arms so as to thwart common men from passing his post. Sammy stood before him, still as a statue as well, the business and commotion swirling around her and the captain as though they didn’t exist at all. The captain stood, staring Sammy in the eyes for what seemed like hours before the captain’s old face broke into a grin that shone through his thick beard and he held out a gloved hand.

On the deck of the boat, the world looked different and the salty sea air tasted sweet as honey when the wind blew. When it was time to cast off, Sammy didn’t want to get off the boat and so the mighty Kraken set sail with one extra passenger that day, bound for new and unexplored lands with naught but a compass and a map. The sweet stars sang from overhead at night and the sea thrummed with the music of life during the day. Sometimes the pirates sang along with it, adding stringed instruments of their own creation to the mix and Sammy felt at home. By the wind they sailed, never knowing where the destination lay or how they might get there, but it didn’t matter because they had their music and their ale.

As the months went by, recorded in captain’s logs and new songs to sing, Sammy became well known around the ship for her wit and her nimble fingers, making her an essential deckhand. Her whittling also became a big hit, for nobody else on the ship could carve such amazing things as Sammy. She was taught how to wield a sword and how to use a knife and how to drink and spit like a man. She wore a red bandana over her matted and tangled nest of long, brown hair and she delighted in stopping at port towns that she had never seen before but it wasn’t until one fateful day that the Kraken found an island unmarked on any map that Sammy got a true adventure.

The Kraken made landfall around noon according to the sun which shone bright and hot in the clear blue sky. A cotton ball or two of a cloud drifted lazily, but otherwise the sky was uncovered. It was the kind of deep blue that painters longed to replicate, infinitely thought provoking near the sun and fading slowly until where it touched the horizon, it was nearly white. It was as though the sky made a white, sandy beach to meet the sea on the horizon, mirroring the world. The island was densely wooded and flocks of strange birds kept periodically erupting from somewhere near the center of it. The cool, clear waters held smallish brown fish with golden flecks of color gilded into their backs. The golden flecks seemed to curl and twist as though they meant to signify rivers flowing. Sammy watched them swim about for a while as the crew stretched weary legs and pulled full, plump fruit from low-hanging trees and made a meal of the previously undiscovered vegetation.

It wasn’t long before the pirates fanned out and began creeping into the woods, weary of any threats that might appear in the strange place. Sammy stuck with the captain who she had heard by now had slain a bear with his bare hands before and could kill one-hundred men with naught but a dagger. Sammy and the captain made swift progress with the captain’s sword skills that could cut swaths through thick underbrush and Sammy’s tree climbing ability that enabled her to be an effective lookout. The closer they made it to the center of the island, the cooler it got until the air was refreshing instead of the oppressive heat that could be felt at the edges of the island.

It wasn’t long before the two of them found themselves at the edge of a cliff, looking over vast waterfalls that thundered wide tracks of froth down, down the side, larger and more magnificent than any waterfalls they had ever seen before. Down at the bottom of the cliffs, they could see a city growing out of the ground. It appeared as though it might be made of tree trunks and leaves, and upon using the binoculars they found that the city was made of giant tree trunks and rocks. The buildings were rounded and weathered and the dense foliage grew over the sides of them as though they were made to be a part of the island. They sprang up in areas all over the ground around the cliffs like mushrooms sprouting on trees. Two of the waterfalls converged on a large, blue lake that turned into a river, the lake cutting the village into two halves and the river flowing out into the sea on the horizon. The Captain’s face broke out into a grin, cracked and crooked teeth visible behind the thick beard as he took Sammy’s hand and took a step towards the great city.

Ok, so I made some massive changes to the blog, dudes

So, aesthetically speaking, my blog is radically different now. How do you chaps like it? I promise that last poem had all the words on the line, but the format I had would not allow lines of such length. Naturally, I tried tweaking it and went overboard and now here I am with a whole new face. But don't worry, because I have a whole new poem to go with my whole new face.

Don't Wobble on Account of me, Bucko
By: David Mathis

I can see you there, staggering.
You're butting your head against that window, but it isn't going nowhere.
You're swaying, but it isn't to any beat I can hear, and let me tell you:
That beat sure is a strong one. I think maybe you're a bit off on your sway.
I would try to wrangle that Heineken bottle out of your hand, except
you haven't finished it yet and I don't want you to snap my neck in two.
No that I think you have the motor skills to snap anything at the moment.
I just don't like taking chances with nobody is all. Still, though, that is the booth.
The DJ probably doesn't appreciate a zombie trying to headbutt through glass.
Not that you're banging your head hard, but still. Has to be annoying.
Assuming he can even hear it all with that sound system pumping.
It's time to wrap up, and you have some stairs to use yet. I predict a trip;
I'll call a cab for you when you leave and maybe you'll make it to your home.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Look deeply into the Lizard Man's eyes. They are laser eyes, but you should still look deeply.

I have made it some sort of personal goal to never post any content on here that I write in class, therefore, I consider class work to be like sketches in a sketch book, and these poems here are more like inked drawings. There's still no color yet, but they are more complete than the in-class assignments which are just to give me good poem practice. If I might say one thing, it would be that I honestly enjoy writing poetry now, so, when I go back to heavy prose, it will feel strange and I am certain that I will be a different writer on the other side. Since you have better things to do than read about my personal life, I'll drop a poem for you dudes and dudettes out there in Non-David land.

Fak-shalaak-Quack!
By: David Mathis

The drop of a stone sets the wind blowing in a circuitous motion for a span of time
However, the span of time is undefined and the level of circuitousness is never measured.

MEGAHORN blares a message in red ink that sits out in the rain for too long--
the words are now splotchy and illegible as they sluggishly bore through the air.

Wrestle the dog with sterile talons that glint brightly in the light of the interrogation room.
When you are done, kindly place the bag on the counter top and an associate will dispose of it.

Tangerines make wonderful snacks if only you store them in your cheeks for winter,
only, sometimes they ferment and taste like rotten fruit. Give that to the flies.


THE END

I'mma H to thuh UFF and P to thuh UFF and B t'thuh LOOOOOW YO' HOUZ DOWN!!!

It is time to rock the Junkyard like baby's crib, brah. I am totally out of ideas, so forgive me if this is lacking.

1 - "ROFLOPTIMUS PRIME!!!!!!!"
-Honestly, I can't remember

I have no recollection of where I first saw this, but I love it. It is the best way to express your joy. Ever. So, use this as much as fucking possible.

2 - "Smoking is suicide for procrastinators."
-Still can't remember

This was some piece of art I saw on Deviant Art years ago and it always stuck with me. I used it a few days ago, but in actuality, I have no issue with smokers. I have no strong feelings about it either way, so whatev'.

3 - "This steak smells like fish... it also tastes like fish."
-Also some random person

Never eat fishbeef.

4 - "But if you chase that Roadrunner too long, you'll eventually starve. Or you'll get hit by a truck that the Roadrunner is driving."
- Merdeith Gran

If you have never read the webcomic "Octopus Pie", then you really should check it out if you like web comics. Just sayin'. Meredith Gran writes it and she's brilliant.

5 - "Can I smell yo dick?"
-My Brother, My Brother, and Me

Seriously. Listen to this webcast. Find it on google or something, and listen. It is absolutely funny. You need to do it. I love this quote. I do. Honestly.

OK! JUNKYARD OVER!

Moose is staring at me. I feel sometimes like he is actually Big Brother.

Ok, so I loved that last method of picking a poem to review, so let's HAVE AT IT AGAIN! ROLL THAT WHEEL OF FORTUNE!!!

The Beautiful and Illustrious Hannah Ross got it this time, so I go to the first impulse:

Random Impulse #2 (No apparent title yet)
By: Hannah Ross

I would hate to be blind. Blind. Too blind. Be Blind. Hate blindness. Hackneyed blindness. Hard resemblence. Apple. Could you. Presently. What comes first. Chicken or egg. Egg. Neither. Blind. Hate. Sounds. Shrieking. Scathing. pain. Painful. Shut. Sound. Shut. Sister. Angry mad. Sister sister. Shares.. All my love. Love all my shares. My shares all love. Love. Hear. My thoughts hold my hear. I never saw her till I saw her. 209.209.209. Captive reviving. House furnished with love. Goodness.

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What I liked: The words. I like the way the words interact with each other and while sometimes a word breaks the chain that is being formed in my own mind as I read these words, it forms a new one, like a new paragraph, or a separate train car. All of it is still connected, only outside events have changed the form. Feels like echoes. Ripples, both past and present.

Improvements: Longer train cars maybe. I would like to see longer strands of thought. I also am unsure what the numbers mean and I feel like it loses some of the magic the first part contains around the part with the numbers. I think it picks up right before it ends though, so I guess yet another suggestion would be continuation from the end point.

Wha-WHOA!!! HOLY FISH TACOS!

Let's get our peer review boots on, everyone. Today, I will take a gander at a random person's poem. I am going to scroll my mouse around the blog page in an erratic fashion and click the mouse. I will repeat the process until I manage to click on someone's blog and then the first impulse I see, I am writing about. READY??!

Wow, first try. Congratulations, Kimberly Rigsby! Your name was just drawn. Check out this sweet number:

Cashier
By: Kimberly Rigsby

The time goes by
Slower than ever.
Only two hours left
I say to myself.

I grab a box, beep.
How may more days,
Beep, months, and years
Will I be here, beep.

"That's $27.53, sir."
I take the cash,
And give some back.
"Have a good day."

"Yyou too, Miss."
Have a good day?
I can have a good day
In one hour and 58 minutes.


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What I liked: I liked that I can relate because I often run the register at Pizza Hut and its so monotonous. Granted, I get to run around a lot, carrying pizzas because I am also a server, and I get tips, but my good day will always start after work. 'Cept on some days, because work can be fun and exciting. I like the subject matter and I think anyone who has worked a register can really relate to this poem.

Improvements: I would look at the line breaks a bit more and maybe make some adjustments to those because I think the poem would flow a bit better. I kind of like the short-clipped lines, but I think if you had maybe somehow incorporated that into way the register slides out, it could have been better. I like the idea of the bell from the register ringing and making page breaks, or clipping them short because of the transaction. Or, even the item scanner could have been implemented. Just some suggesters.

Monday, February 21, 2011

You rock the boat, dude! In every great way possible!

I know this is absolutely beyond a shadow of a doubt, late. I do understand that as such, it might not even be subject to grading, but I am of the mind that I must do it anyway. A poem, just for you people out there who look at this place, searching for content and find yourselves with one less poem than normal to read. Well, don't you fret little ones, I have one right here for you, and while I have been really churning out that stupid emo poetry we were not supposed to write, I think I will diverge from that because nobody wants horrible emo poetry all the time, and I will instead wow you with my ability to write a nice piece of prose because I can write that faster than poetry. LET'S FUCK THIS DUCK!

The Twist Cap Always Screws Counter, Counter Clock-Wise

By: David Mathis

It was midnight, most likely. If I had to guess, I would say that it was midnight, but don’t quote me on that because it could have been a bit later I think. Regardless, the night was cold and blustery, but I remember a lone kite flying high in the distance. I thought it was strange that there would be a kite flying so late, so I went outside after grabbing my coat. As I said, it was a cold night and I didn’t want to be taking any chances; it had been raining for a bit. I set off across the grass, because at the time, I was living in the middle of nowhere in a hill country near the Laalbrath Sea. I was determined to see if some poor child had been left outside on a cold, windy night and had nothing better to do than fly a kite. I walked for a good long time, realizing a bit too late that the kite was farther out than I had thought, but I was getting close. I found her then, standing in the middle of the field at night. Her dress was pale like her skin and it fluttered loosely in the harsh breeze like a mast that was too large for the ship that sailed under its faded banner. Her skinny legs were maps of the world, continent bruises blotched in the stark, white skin and her bare feet were grime-covered and crusted over like the barnacle-caked underside of a sailing ship. Her hair was coarse and thin; as it lashed across her face, it left red, stinging welts, marring her childhood beauty, but her smile was bright and genuine. I called out to her, but for all it mattered, I could have been just another gust of wind because she kept flying the kite, eyes set looking into the sky, beaming gleefully.

I stood there for a bit, but she didn’t budge, other than her shivering—she had no coat. She had only a tattered and thin dress and her white kite. I took my coat off, wrapped it around her small, frail shoulders, and walked off back to my house. It was a long time before I managed to sleep that night an account of me being worried for that small girl out in the field all alone. I must have dozed off eventually, because I remember waking up in the morning to the pale light of a fresh sun. When I opened my door, there was my coat and a white kite splotched with grass stains sitting on my front porch. The kite hangs on my wall to this day. I’ve never seen the girl since, but think she appreciated the coat.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Oh, yeah. This again...

So, I am running out of Junk Yard quotes, for realz, fool. What to do, what to do?

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1- "My mother is a Fish"
-William Faulkner-

Years later, I look back on this book and where it was once my least favorite of all time, I realize Faulkner was a genius and that maybe at the end of my life, I might eventually be as awesome as he was. This quote is amazing, signifying the breakdown of young Vardaman--his attempts at allowing his dead mother to breath but instead drilling holes in the woman's face being a wonderful example of how much he doesn't grasp the gravity of death. Finally, he comes to associate his mother with a fish--which I might add also died. In essence, the chapter is Vardaman admitting that in her current state, his mother is the same as a dead fish. If that isn't horrifying, then mayhaps you've been conditioned too hard against horror. Or, you could have worse horrors of your own. I'm not going to judge.



2 -"Even on the stormiest of days, the sun shines. Your fault is only that you will not look past the hurricane clouds to see that sun."
-David Mathis-

Yet again, I apparently have to use my own quotes in every junkyard so far, but this was a quote I wrote for a piece of prose that I called "overture" and I feel like it is pretty solid. Just remember that on a stormy day, the sun really does keep shining. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there for you. There is always a sun shining, but you sometimes just have to look for it. I like it because I already used it in prose, but I think it could be used again.

3 - "I met someone who reminded me of myself--I couldn't stand her."
-Random online person-

I feel the same way when I meet someone who is me. I sometimes wonder if I wouldn't hate myself were I not me and that was a concept I used to struggle with a lot. On the other hand, I maintain that this world would run so much smoother if I was the only inhabitant and everyone was a clone of me.

4 -"All propaganda has to be popular and has to accommodate itself to the comprehension of the least intelligent of those whom it seeks to reach. "
-Adolf Hitler-

Brilliance. I suppose it is a concept that seems like an already known idea, but until articulated so clearly, perhaps it isn't.

5 - "Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves."
-Albert Einstein-

This man was more of a genius than anyone gave him credit for. He is my hero.

And, here goes the Captain Angela

Anyone who has yet to vote on the boat subject should do so at his or her leisure. I am interested to see how the poll turns out and if it turns out well, I will try to post weekly polls. On to more interesting business:


ANGELA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


She wrote a poem. This is the poem. It's the ish.

The windows cry for me
Crying for me the windows do
Cold on the outside i appear to be
On the outside i appear to be cold
Heated and tumultuous on the inside i remain to be
I remain to be heated and tumultuous within
Rough on the outside like sand paper i am
I am rough like sand paper
As tensions collide the sand melts
Melting sand and colliding tension
Hard rough eyes fogged over
Fogged over eyes turn glassy-glazed
Hot and cold fight to be seen
The windows cry for me

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What I liked:
Love the way you play with words, yo. You're blastin' that playing with language stuff to the mizax and I think it's hella' tight. That aside, I could rave about playing with language all day and be just as constructive as the next person, so I'll leave it at that for now. Oh, but I will actually add that this poem rawks the boat that sails on the waters of my soul.

Improvements:
lack of capitalized "i" prevalent throughout, which for an English major like me, is like stabbing me in the heart, which tends to cause heart problems later on. I guess that's the only thing that really bugs me. I would love to see you playing with imagery that is sort of theme-based. I use the sea a lot, and the more you write on a certain idea with a restriction to a certain subject but allow yourself to freely play with language, the more awesome imagery and word twists you'll have. So, I would like to see some of that here. That would be my constructive feedback.



AAAAND A POEM BY LUCAS! (not to be confused with the psionic kid from Earthbound)

That's right: To my knowledge, Lucas shares no common trait with Lucas from Earthbound, except for hair color. But, don't you worry, because unlike Lucas, Lucas is a poet! Lucas writes cool poetry, like this piece here and if you don't want to see language, then you can skip out my review of the piece.

I Don't Know
by: Lucas (Not from Earthbound)

Lights are dimmed
And the pants are around ankles
Computer screen like a movie beam
Shoots out sound and noise and feeling
Feeling each other and himself
“Whatcha doin’ there girls?”
“Nothin’.”
“You girls like to party?”
“Umm..yeah.”
Nodded heads along with them pictures on the mantelpieces
Sleeping snores come from the bedroom door
The lights are dimmed, dimmed like always
Like automatic friction means more than
Eggshell stained pants and sheets


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What I liked:
FUCK YEAH! This poem made me happy because it's about life in all its uncensored dirtiness. It is therefore perfect because it doesn't shy away from those things that make us human. I like how he approaches the subject very casually. Wonderful all around.

Improvements:
I dunno, dude. Maybe you could have written about meadows that were sexually charged.

Fur Stands Uneven even Under the Porch

This weekend was HELL for me and I did not get to write nearly as much as I would have liked and on top of it all, I believe I might have come out on the other side slightly more mad than I already am, but I hear insanity and genius share some common traits, so one of these days, I'll probably just get to be an eccentric old man who everyone loves. I also would enjoy being feared. If I get to be a dictator instead, I'll be an eccentric one and everyone will both love and fear me and I'll get both life dreams knocked out at the same time. This is all a great big stall for my next great poem and since you've suffered through yet another introduction to a poem that tells you my life and where it stands at the start of the work, here you go, you loyal reader, you... assuming anyone still reads me because of my tardiness.

Constellation
by: David Mathis

Straight, neat lines--parallel--trimmed back, manicured, and tidy
placed with clean hands, freshly sanitized and the smell of alcohol.
Not the kind one drinks, but the kind one cleans with--rubbing alcohol.
Bleached-white hands with peeling nails reach with care, the skin nearby
dry, dead--Feathered back and thin red lines etched. The smell of copper.
It doesn't fill the air, but it's there, it's faint. Not pennies though.
In the corner, a leather bag sits slouched and it seems to whisper infinite
wisdom through the zipper teeth. It is only a short drop to those nice,
neat lines. Those nice, neat lines, splayed and torn though they are,
you look into them and you see yourself as you were or maybe as you will be.
Seriously, look, look into them--Look into the lines and they waver like your
RESOLVE. It breaks to pieces under pressure like those nice, clean, lines.
Lines lain with contorted hands that sway beneath a puppet string. It is only
a short drop, you know. Only a short, short drop. Safe, even. Short and safe.
The Sun breaks itself over a jagged horizon, spills pink yolk across a colorless
sky and the day begins its bleary gaze before it blinks, and the moon
hangs in a black room above the trees. It illuminates the chalky lines.
Wonderful, immaculate lines. Cracked lines, but perfect because
perfection breeds flaw and flaw breeds peace. Lines like you've never seen
even in your dreams at night when long, cold lines of moon light paint
your face with stripes forged from the blinds. Parallel stripes laid carefully
by invisible hands working with white powder gloves and a tether too tight
for comfort. Open your eyes. Slatted moonlight marked across the floor like
impossible parking spaces--books stacked in a shelf--lines. Close your eyes.
Listen to the breath that leaves your body. Listen to the air that enters your
lungs. But always remember that it is only a short, safe drop. Very safe.

The End

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The World is in a bit of an a Pickle-- SUPER IMPULSE!

When Things Thrum in the Depth of Night

By: David Mathis

You’ll find it if you seek it—that place that wells up deep within us all. That presence that will take a person’s head, sink it beneath the black waves and hold it. You’ll find you can see it—that place where no light can reach; where the depths enfold you in loving arms and as you spiral, you can feel your senses tingle in anticipation. It gores you like a knife between the ribs. Fast. Hard. Jagged—but you like it. You might manage a cough— possibly you hiss as your flesh is flayed. Coals, hot and red heat your eyes and you spread shredded wings to fly. You plummet, though you once soared and should you plummet far, you’ll find the frozen dread of a depthless ocean. It will whisper to you.

Inhale, it will say. It will repeat it time and time again—inhale. You will freeze. Tumbling in the deepest waters, your will tear your mask off and struggle, bear. What happens next, I cannot say, for I am not you, but remember to paddle.

It will find you if you seek it. That light that shines, burns the brine from your back, sears off the coral. It glows with a faint warmth, though to touch it is to sting—only at first though. Take heart, you can embrace it. It will envelop you and you will rise as the water boils away from you, churning in tremendous bubbles. You will rise above the surface and from your perch, you will see that the sea was a lake. Every sea is only just a lake.

Deconstruction

Void Where Prohibited

by: David Mathis


'So what ezzactly is over the rainbow' siad the parrot to the earth, but unfortunately the earth speaks not and so the curtains closed on another day of sitting. So what is snow made of anyway? sugarfluff or frosting, or is it made of ice? 'how should I know,' said the man to the panda. 'It simply has no taste.'


No taste-- like air or spagetti noodles when they are wiggly and cooked-- like a sheep braying for its pancho. not that all sheep wear panchos or all dogs go to heaven, for within the sun there appears to be a flamable substance of some sort, or so said the clock. The clock was always right.


The old man laughed as he sat down and strummed a guitar that was made of gold, but he could hardly lift it for the life of him: he had stolen it you know. The bats all laugh by the heat of the day as they sit perched and ready to feed in the night-- the night where the air is cold and they can hear as plain as day. And do not, my child, forget the sky as it is filled with a black boquet of the wings of the bats as they fly to town to feed.


The veil it then came to a jagged end in gasping groaning breaths as the unbearable continued to crawl: much like a puppy in its last moments-- and then the rigor sets in. Away in a kite as far as the moon, where the weather is always predicted accurately-- the only the drawback is an abrupt and rather unexpected shortness of breath.

I Think I Already Featured Whitney, but she Always Surprises me

Dude, if you checked out the title of this post, you would totally not even have to read this block of text right here, but if you want to do so anyway, my witty skill with words and my knowledge of all your needs and wants might make it worth your while anyway. Observe: YOU! THE ONE WHO IS READING THIS! YOU WANT A CHOCOLATE BAR RIGHT NOW! What then? Now who's got the ability to preemptively read minds through the interwebs? Oooh, if you wish your were me, raise your hand.

BUT TO BUSINESS! Whitney, this week, I'm taking a look at your poem, y'see? And for any who do not want to have to go find it themselves, here it is:

Softening
by: Whitney Johnson

Like the alphas tucked in boxed chocolates
Doing that which clogs the spout 'til they are limp,
The path they hoped their other halves would grate
Is a whisp of dissent that strangles them.

If they wish to vacate the hole, then go rest in it
Until you gentle her with a sword that offers the hue,
Or a slice of the fence thats repeats like a storm cracks
In the sparkles of the reflecting faced rightside up.

She won't save herself from grinding a stylish rag.

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What I liked: I liked the discordant imagery here. I don't know that it's a refined breakdown of language, but in part, I like it because it's rough and sometimes vague, but the phrases feel like they could mean something if only I could piece them back together. It feels very fractured and strange. As the title of this post says: you always surprise me with your work.

Improvements: At times it seems to detached, if there is such a thing. I think some readers would be turned off by the cryptic quality to the poem where I am instead compelled to read more. I personally like it the way it is, but it would be a very niche genre, this poem.
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P.S. Exactly seven of you raised your hands to say that you want to be me. Creepy, huh?

I am a sucker for alliteration-- there is no easier way to give me a joygasm

HELLOOOOO AND WELCOME TO MY PEER REVIEW SESSION, PART ONE!!!!!!!!
today's exciting selection will be the poem entitled "Of the Wind" by Rebeccah Jacks! Let's take a look at that killer poem!!!!!!

Of the Wind
by: Rebeccah Jacks

Sirocco the slithering serpent of the sea. Sounds of Sirocco slid secretly through silent senses. Senses of the senses shine sublime. Shiny syrup of static seas the Sirocco. The small sitar of many sounds play subtle games on Sirocco. The slippery notes slide over the swirling sea. Calling the sleeping serpent above. It is the silent scythe to sailing sailors. Sirocco of the sea sliding through the steely waves. Sirens dance to the serpent's beat. The sitar with stale sin dripping like syrup from sticky fingers. Draw the sailing sailors to Sirocco. The sailing sailors sail no more. Shining sunsets shadow the sea. The sailors now sleep with slippery sirens of the sea serpent Sirocco. Sirocco slowly slithers from the silent seas shooting home to sleep in the sea above. Shining stars call to Sirocco singing songs of the sea. The sitar stops its seductive tune for Sirocco is not more. Silent waves lap sailing sailor's ships. Sirens sleep as Sirocco slips away to the starry sky above the sea.

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What I liked: Alliteration! I love alliteration so much that I would probably die for the cause. As such, this poem could be the worst poem of all time for all I know, but I love it. I love the sounds that it makes and I love saying the poem. I think I say this a lot when I talk about poems, but to me, the way a poem sounds is true art. I love saying this poem because of the way it sounds.

Improvement: I noticed you only used words with the "s" sound in the middle of them a few times. Such as "Sunset" and with alliteration, traditionally, the technique is to use words that start with the same letter, but I also enjoy words that have the sound in the middle and not necessarily at the beginning. I look at it like I do a slant rhyme. I would like to see more words with the sound sandwich so to speak. Wow. That was some intense unintentional alliteration on my part.


Whew. Rough week, y'know? Let's get some Junkyard all up in here.

Junkyard Quotes for the week:

1 - "I want to make sweet butt love to your face."
-Nick Bruce

I argue that it would be impossible to make butt love to my face, primarily because my face is not a butt. I needed to save this phrase in my head-- it's wonderful.

2 - "We are currently decking out Godzilla in new Mech armor, he'll be ready soon."
-Samuel Thompson-

He just got frustrated and made a crazy, untrue claim. He does not even know that Godzilla is in my underwater storage facility. Having said that, there is a lot to be said about frustrated ejaculations. I need a few of these, if not for poetry, then for prose.

3 - "Those are some cool jeans, whoever wore those before you must have been cool too."
-Random person I don't know on Facebook-

Perhaps this was an inside joke. Perhaps those bright pink jeans were once Beowulf's jeans, or maybe they once deflected a blow from the Cthulhu. I have no way of knowing because this statement on its own doesn't seem to make sense. Certainly, there was no indication of wear and/or tear on the jeans, but maybe , just maybe. The poster let the person in the picture have some pink jeans that no longer fit. Whatever the case, I saved this phrase for later.

4 - "I mounted a car in my garage, I had the camera in the car when two are wasps his fight I was attentive"
- Random Person on DeviantArt-

From time to time, I like to use my Deviant Art account. Sometimes, there are people who do not speak very good English yet, but they post descriptions in English. I think it is very interesting how non native speakers of English try to phrase things in English. This one grabbed my attention.

5 - "Today is a paper airplane, and I'll glide along on a gusty gust of wind just as far as I can. Come along with me, and together we might make it to the sun."
-David Mathis

It wouldn't be a junkyard without a quote from me. I was down in my life when I typed this out and put it up as my AIM status one day. Sometimes writing happy things can give us the slightest of smiles even during the most horrible of months. I tend to write happier things when I'm sad anyway, and I have always liked this one. I think I could adapt it easily into poetry.



Friday, February 4, 2011

Chugga-Chugga JUNKYAAAAAARD!

Damn straight, ladies and germs: It's time for some junk-yardification! Ka-CHOW!!!

1 - "A glutton is constantly expanding outwards in all directions-- much like the universe, only much less full of wonders, and much more full of food."
- Me-

This is one of my favorite things I've ever said because it made me laugh. Remember this phrase if ever you need something sage-like to say. This would also go well in a story or poem, so I am posting it here. It's a wonderful, whimsical thing for some wise person to say.


2 - "Contrary to popular belief, I do design things which are not intended for death and destruction."
-A man whose name I know better than to post online because he would kill me-

This comes from a guy who is very particular about where and how his name is dropped online, but suffice it to say, he is an old friend of mine from my SCAD days. He does a lot of designing of things, particularly weapons of war, and he said this online one day. It simply sounds like something that should be said from a villain and I love it.


3 - "
aww how come we haven't talked in a century i'm strong and wooly?"
-I do not know her real name-

This is a girl I used to talk to online sometimes, and the things she said were absolutely crazy, even by my standards, but that's ok because it was never a dull moment with her. She is strong and wooly and, yet again, this snippet of life would make wonderful content for a poem or a story. It's like some unique little snapshot of life that I could scrapbook into some story or poem.


4 -
"Me: You can have anything delivered.

Nick: anything?

Me: Anything.

Nick: what about a really fat person?
Me: Yeah, you could so have a fat person delivered."

My friend Nick wanted a really fat person delivered. For what purpose, I know not. It is best not to question him. I think all these quotes are in the same vein today: snippets of life that make for good reading material.


5 -
"Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two make four."
-George Orwell, 1984-

One of my favorite books of all times and one of my favorite quotes of all time. Freedom is the freedom to state the truth and be unafraid of the consequences. Plain and simple. Without that, there is no freedom. Essentially, it is the American first amendment.

Peer review time

This is a peer review about Angela Lewis's latest poem. Without going into the details first, I'll just post it and then tell you what I think about it (it doesn't seem to have a title):


by: Angela Lewis

E goes and leaves I behind
E goes on and on and on and
So it goes
Egos

Main E yaks
The man, he yaks
Maniac

Man i ache a little
Maniacal
E goes on and on and on and...

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What I liked:
I liked that she really makes the reader say the word twice without realizing what's going on. "Man i ache a little" becomes "Maniacal" and before you can think about it, you've repeated yourself phonetically. It's wonderful it its ability to play with the sound of an E.

Improvements:
This is a poem that could have easily continued and been expanded and I would like to see some of that expansion. Perhaps she did expand and this was the only part she actually liked. That could be possible. However, I would have liked to see a longer version. The more you play with a word or sound, the more different fragments you will get, and the more complete your web will become. Even if not all of it is super quality, I would love to see her just lay down a concept that she plays with for a much longer time. There will always be gems in the rough places. This is a place to learn anyway. Just suggestions.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Happy Birthday, Whitney! This is for you.

Well, it's still technically Thursday if I post this early enough and if I don't, then happy late birthday. Regardless, she got hedgehogs in my head when she suggested that I write a poem about them, but I think instead, I will treat you to a poem about a Hedge Hag. If poetry is playing with words, then I say I want a hedge hag. A hag who lives in a hedge. So, happy Birthday, Whitney and enjoy this hag poem I wrote for you. Not that I think you're a hag... wow. Just realized that connection could be made. Whatever. If you're a hag, I love you anyway. Cheers.

Hedgehag
By: David Mathis

Hedge hag. A hag in a hedge. A hag that heretofore rested within the bounds of a hedge. A holly hedge. A hedge that contained holly and also a hag was the home of the hedge hag. She loved her hedge, the hedge hag did. She loved it "to pieces" as the colloquialism goes, and while not particularly applicable to the hedge, it did in fact shed a lot. A hedge that sheds. She shed too, the hedge hag, though not as much as the holly hedge. Leaves flitted away, blown by wind-- gusted. She should have felt mortified, the hedge hag should, for her house was blowing away. The thing about living in a hedge is that there is always another hedge to find. The hedge hag found a new hedge-- a shaped hedge. The new hag hedge was a flamingo. A perfect hag hedge for a hedge hag, this haggish hedge was in the center of a garden. Not the haggiest garden, but yet still a haggish enough for an old hedge hag. She scratched her haggy nose and giggled her haggy giggle and into the hedge the old hedge hag slipped, never to exit again.

The End

My god, what the hell was that?

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

To tide you over


Get it TIDE? 'CAUSE IT'S UNDERWATER! AND I'VE BEEN ON A SEA KICK IN MY POETRY LATELY!?!?? OMG I'M SO CLEVER!!! I did this in illustrator a few semesters ago when I was still an art major. My page looked bland, so I decided to post this. Other people have pictures. WHY CAN'T I???

I apologize for the preponderance of punctuation.