today's exciting selection will be the poem entitled "Of the Wind" by Rebeccah Jacks! Let's take a look at that killer poem!!!!!!
Of the Wind
by: Rebeccah Jacks
Sirocco the slithering serpent of the sea. Sounds of Sirocco slid secretly through silent senses. Senses of the senses shine sublime. Shiny syrup of static seas the Sirocco. The small sitar of many sounds play subtle games on Sirocco. The slippery notes slide over the swirling sea. Calling the sleeping serpent above. It is the silent scythe to sailing sailors. Sirocco of the sea sliding through the steely waves. Sirens dance to the serpent's beat. The sitar with stale sin dripping like syrup from sticky fingers. Draw the sailing sailors to Sirocco. The sailing sailors sail no more. Shining sunsets shadow the sea. The sailors now sleep with slippery sirens of the sea serpent Sirocco. Sirocco slowly slithers from the silent seas shooting home to sleep in the sea above. Shining stars call to Sirocco singing songs of the sea. The sitar stops its seductive tune for Sirocco is not more. Silent waves lap sailing sailor's ships. Sirens sleep as Sirocco slips away to the starry sky above the sea.
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What I liked: Alliteration! I love alliteration so much that I would probably die for the cause. As such, this poem could be the worst poem of all time for all I know, but I love it. I love the sounds that it makes and I love saying the poem. I think I say this a lot when I talk about poems, but to me, the way a poem sounds is true art. I love saying this poem because of the way it sounds.
Improvement: I noticed you only used words with the "s" sound in the middle of them a few times. Such as "Sunset" and with alliteration, traditionally, the technique is to use words that start with the same letter, but I also enjoy words that have the sound in the middle and not necessarily at the beginning. I look at it like I do a slant rhyme. I would like to see more words with the sound sandwich so to speak. Wow. That was some intense unintentional alliteration on my part.
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