Sunday, February 27, 2011

Wha-WHOA!!! HOLY FISH TACOS!

Let's get our peer review boots on, everyone. Today, I will take a gander at a random person's poem. I am going to scroll my mouse around the blog page in an erratic fashion and click the mouse. I will repeat the process until I manage to click on someone's blog and then the first impulse I see, I am writing about. READY??!

Wow, first try. Congratulations, Kimberly Rigsby! Your name was just drawn. Check out this sweet number:

Cashier
By: Kimberly Rigsby

The time goes by
Slower than ever.
Only two hours left
I say to myself.

I grab a box, beep.
How may more days,
Beep, months, and years
Will I be here, beep.

"That's $27.53, sir."
I take the cash,
And give some back.
"Have a good day."

"Yyou too, Miss."
Have a good day?
I can have a good day
In one hour and 58 minutes.


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What I liked: I liked that I can relate because I often run the register at Pizza Hut and its so monotonous. Granted, I get to run around a lot, carrying pizzas because I am also a server, and I get tips, but my good day will always start after work. 'Cept on some days, because work can be fun and exciting. I like the subject matter and I think anyone who has worked a register can really relate to this poem.

Improvements: I would look at the line breaks a bit more and maybe make some adjustments to those because I think the poem would flow a bit better. I kind of like the short-clipped lines, but I think if you had maybe somehow incorporated that into way the register slides out, it could have been better. I like the idea of the bell from the register ringing and making page breaks, or clipping them short because of the transaction. Or, even the item scanner could have been implemented. Just some suggesters.

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